Thursday, January 12, 2012

Resolutions

I hate resolutions. Never do them... but this year I'm making a resolution of sorts. It's coincidental timing that my little moment of clarity the other day happened around the beginning of a new year.

I need to lay off myself.

It's funny how much time goes into telling others to give themselves a break... telling them to stop expecting absolute perfection from themselves... and yet I live day to day in an anxiety induced paralysis because I can't do everything exactly as I believe I should.

Such an old running theme... but since that moment of clarity I have been going out of my way to be more aware of my thoughts. Doing that and then choosing to speak aloud to contradict the "can't do anything right" thoughts has made a difference. I've been more relaxed and gotten more accomplished this last week than since I started working full-time back in May.

The really good part of this is I haven't gone totally crazy in trying to do everything at once. If I get one big job around the house done each day, then it's enough. If my body doesn't cooperate and it's near bedtime before I can move enough to do it, then so be it. I have no set goal on when I'll achieve any specific goal. Only to take it one day at a time and do what I am able to do and accept it is good enough.

I don't know what tomorrow brings but today, I'm enough as I am.

Oh, and I totally cheated yesterday-ish by posting a draft from April of last year... but at least a post was made... so there.