Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Deconstructing Tara

After rewatching the series "United States of Tara" last week, I thought it might be fun to watch the series episode by episode and sort of break it down from my own personal perspective and experience. 

For the uninitiated, Tara was a series on the Showtime Network. It was about a woman with a marriage, family, career and DID. It only lasted 3 seasons. A shame as it had some of the best characters, actors and writing on TV. Another Kardashian casualty... but the craptastic nature of popular television is a rant for another day.

Anyway, if you are interested in seeing the series, all 3 seasons are now available on Netflix and a good half dozen other viewing sites online. I'd recommend it, in part because it's excellent tv and Toni Collette is phenomenal, and in part because these entries will be chock full of massive spoilers. Besides, I doubt my writing will do it justice.

For me, watching the series the first time was hard. I was months into integration when it first aired and it could be incredibly triggering. I spent quite a lot of time in tears and asking my family if it hit home for them as much as it did me. To be honest, watching it the first time was a heck of a lot like poking at a rotted tooth to see if it still makes you want to rip your own head off.

The second time I watched through it (Thanks Alanna for telling me the series is now available), I found myself remembering some pretty cool things. Things like family and therapy moments from the black hole between diagnosis in 1999 and beginning my first blog in 2002. That period of 3 years or so has been a blank up to now. Not all the memories are exactly "cool" but they're mine and that means something. If writing about Tara and watching the series again can unlock some of that time, I'm all for it. Maybe writing will be useful for someone who comes across this but I'm certain it'll do me some good. Kind of a win/win.

This is your notice: Watch it, experience it through my eyes or both. Your choice.