Monday, January 24, 2011

If This is a Test, I'd Really Like to Pass

Received a message tonight from a couple who, up until about a year ago, were close friends of the family. I'm not going into all the details about how it started or all that occurred... but truly was neither prepared for nor even wanting to hear from them. I know I'm trying to deal with this resentment stuff... and I know putting something out of your mind isn't the same thing as dealing with it... but while I'm not exactly angry anymore, I can't honestly say the depth of the hurt has healed. I don't know if I handled it well... but can at least say I handled it honestly. Only time will tell if we can come to an amicable peace. For now, I'm not interested in friendship.

The following is the message I received:  

The last time M*** & I came to ACF I know we didn't speak and things were kind of awkward I believe on both sides. We really hated that. Anything we have said or done to hurt you we apologize for and am very sorry. As brothers and sisters in Christ we are instructed to love each other with the unconditional love of Christ. We still love you all and would love for us to be on friendly terms; if you can find it in your hearts to be so as well. We are all in this for one reason and that is to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ to those who are walking in darkness. We hope this finds you and your family doing well. We heard you got a house and are so happy for you - heating and air finally! Hope to hear from you soon. Love in Christ. M*** and S*****

My response:

I appreciate your message.
The last time you came to ACF, I am sorry if I gave the impression I was awkward or uncomfortable around you. I believe that to be friendly with someone who has made it clear you are neither worthy of them nor welcome in their lives is a form of hypocrisy and I was unwilling to behave in a hypocritical manner. For me, it was not awkward, just a sad reality.
Our love for you both has not changed. There are however things we believe differently. One of those things is that Charlie and I have been through enough in our years together to know we cannot be friends with someone capable of turning on a dime and willfully being cruel. It's understood that we are not to trust man above God, but relationship requires some degree of trust. Sadly, that's not something we are in a position to offer at this time.
For what it's worth, M*** hasn't been blocked to this or any family member's account since shortly after the last discussion. Given the fact that I was blocked then this account was used to continue to judge and speak curses to me and members of my family, I don't think it appropriate for M*** to use this account to contact me.
M*** is welcome to contact Charlie via message or phone call, but I am not comfortable continuing a conversation that should occur between the heads of households affected. If there is resolution to be found, that would be the right way to do it.
We do love and continue to pray for God's blessings in your life and hope all is well with you. Thank you for your concern and joy on our behalf.
Love in Christ to you both,

All this is made more complicated by the fact that one of these people is the son of another close family friend. Until a couple of months ago, he knew nothing of what happened. One day, when Charlie was working on Apostle B's computer, the subject of his son came up and Charlie gave him an abbreviated explanation of events. I'm almost afraid he's been after his son to resolve it... though it would admittedly make Apostle's traditional Super Bowl party a less festive occasion if we were all to be there... his son is 50 and is more than old enough to deal with his own stuff without Dad stepping in.

Part of me hopes I'm wrong in that suspicion. It'd be nice if this came up because they honestly recognize what they did was wrong. But even if that's the case... it doesn't change my lack of interest in re-opening a door I've been content to leave closed.