Sunday, April 11, 2010

Finding My Voice= Priceless (UnChristian)

Mind reading- Not in my job description unless I gave birth to you or have been married to you for nearly a quarter century.
Elders and Deacon(esse)s are charged with covering the little details that prevent the pastor from looking ill prepared. I am neither.
It's a congregation, not an audience.
Don't correct me for your embarrassment. Saving face is your concern... My God (and the congregation I know) is big enough to have grace if I look like an idiot. Perhaps you need to talk to Him.
If you want the youth to step up to a certain job, tell them. Heck, even tell me so I can tell them... but do it before it's a problem for you.

It feels good to be able to say I'm not furious about the above irritations because, in blunt-but-polite Charlie fashion (because Stephanie never quite mastered the art of non-snark), I spoke up... about ALL but the face-saving bit. That would have been a little much all in one conversation.

I suppose it would show grace if I do apologize for interrupting him. After the third reference to audience, "You mean congregation?" just sort of slipped out... but probably wouldn't have the same effectiveness otherwise.

I'll repent to God for the itsy bitsy inside dance that accompanied the pastoral squirm that resulted from our conversation... or not. God's the one who told me to speak up.







Saturday, April 3, 2010

Redneck Drama... and I thought we were past this...

We got a call last night from Mama's sister Irma. Irma called to let us know that she was making arrangements to come from El Paso, Texas to pick up Mama to come live with her. She was making the call because Mama was afraid of how we'd take the news (clue #1 Mama's mental state is deteriorating). We told Irma we weren't thrilled... we'd miss her obviously... but that the sisters are incredibly close and have lived too far apart for too many years. If Mama wants to spend her last years where she grew up, she should. Irma's health is slightly better than Jerry and Glinda, with whom Mama's lived since she came home from rehab. Irma is able to take care of Mama.

Jerry and Glinda have nearly killed themselves these last months taking care of Mama and the youngest brother Robert, who is brain injured. Meanwhile, Mama has sunk into a massive depression, which for her manifests in 'no one loves me, everyone's being mean to me and I WILL EAT ALL THE CANDY I WANT WHENEVER I WANT IT EVEN IF MY SUGAR HITS 600!' She has fights with Robert but if Jerry or Glinda step in, they get yelled at. If they correct Robert on anything, Mama has a fit. She's refusing to get out of bed or take herself to the bathroom, meaning she's getting weaker and weaker.

Last week, on of Mama's adult grandchildren took her to the Flowertown Festival. Mama got pretty worn out and when they went back to the grandchild's mother's house, Mama tripped over their carpet and hurt her knee.

They told no one. No one mentioned a thing until Mama fell at Jerry's. When he found out she'd been hurt, he took her to the doctor who told Mama she needs physical therapy again.

When Jerry and Glinda tried to explain that if Mama didn't make an effort in self care, they would not physically be able to take care of her and risked needing a nursing home, all Mama heard was "they want to put me away."

So she called her sister, who agreed to bring her home to Texas.

No problem.

But Jerry and Glinda made the mistake of telling Mama that the physical therapist was coming by tomorrow.

Mama went into spasms and called Monica... the ex-daughter-in-law and the person whose house it was where Mama fell the first time. Mama told Monica that Jerry and Glinda wanted to put her in a home and wouldn't let her go to Texas. *sighs*

I'm not going to say how we've felt about Monica for many, many years. Her actions today will make it clear enough.

Monica, in her infinite white trash wisdom, called the police, made accusations of abuse, then asked the police to accompany her in "rescuing her dear mother before something terrible happened to her."

By the time we got there, Mama and Robert were all packed up. Jerry and Glinda were a heartbroken, angry mess and Monica was crowing like a rooster. She told the police officer Mama had fallen at Jerry's without telling her how the initial injury occurred.

RAWR... there's just too much to go into.

Monica now and has always seen Mama as a meal ticket. She's hoping to get them over there, get control of Mama's and Robert's social security payments and never have to work again. She has never done a thing but start trouble, suck up and ask Mama for money.

When Mama came home from the rehab, Jerry and Glinda had to have the house inspected and make several changes to make it safe for Mama. I know beyond doubt Monica's house has numerous violations and not a single accommodation for handicapped access or maneuverability. She didn't bother getting the information from Jerry about Mama's medications or hers and Roberts insulin or testing schedules... what she can eat (only a few months ago Mama had a gastric tube and couldn't swallow at all) or how to manage the meal schedule. She did however demand that Jerry hand over Mama's accounts.

I had 2 plans when we left there tonight. Call Irma tonight and ask how soon she could arrange to get here and then to call DSS on Monday and go to court for an order of protection.

Thank God for Irma. She's made arrangements to have her daughter and ex-husband/best friend to drive here this weekend, arrive Sunday and have Mama on her way by Monday. They'll take their time on the trip so Mama can get the rest she'll need and have her in El Paso later in the week.

If Mama doesn't slip into a diabetic coma due to Monica's blundering stupidity before then, I know it will be okay.

Instead of the kids getting a chance to say goodbye over the next couple of weeks... and get used to the idea of Grandma being gone... the only chance they'll have is when we all go together to help her pack to leave. That means we all have to go to the home none of us has ever wanted to visit... and possibly deal with her calling the police yet again.

Krys and Becka are so scared their grandma might never see their babies. All the kids are heartbroken. Mama has been part of their whole lives. It's a tough and too quick goodbye.

Charlie has asked Irma to get a video camera and microphone for her computer so we can talk via video. That would make a huge difference for us and be good for Mama to know we haven't forgotten her.

Jerry and Glinda are so wounded. I wish I could ease their pain.

We're all just tired and angry and shocked at the drama this idiot has to create. Yeah, Mama's played some poor me games here too but she's 80 and not as sharp as she used to be. Monica... well, there's no excuse for her conniving and manipulations.

We're all wrung out. Please pray and think of Mama and her safety over the next few days and on the trip. At this point, I can only hope sleep comes soon tonight. It's been a long time since I've wanted nothing more than to scream and punch walls.