Saturday, May 22, 2010

I hope it's more fun to watch a tizzy fit than to have one...

EMHE Application
open in a new window.
scroll down to the last two pages.
that's what we have to do to finish this thing.
look at the questions on page 19.
we ALL have to sit and answer those.
i don't care anymore if the house is even remotely tidy. I WANT TO GET THIS DONE BEFORE IT DRIVES ME INSANE! the anxiety is beyond ridiculous but no amount of prayer or self-pep talks changes a thing. i think about this, i hyperventilate.
i can't figure out why anyone would put themselves through this, much less why i'm doing it.
okay, i know why i'm doing it. i'd walk naked through flames on live television for my family. comparatively, i guess this is easier... and more likely to do some good.
once, Lord... just once i'd like something easy. k? like, before i'm too old to make it to the bathroom by myself?
i've answered the questions on paper. i don't think charlie or the kids, even through all the discussions we've had, began to comprehend in the slightest until today that THIS IS A GROUP EFFORT! EVERYONE gets their turn on camera, in the hot seat, answering questions that make most of us stutter just to think about.
Caitlin dear... our sweet neighbor who is nominating us and has volunteered (martyred herself?) to videotape this cluster f... family video may end up hating us all before we get done.

I'd ask for encouragement but honestly i'm past encouraging. i think the best i can hope for it to find some headspace that allows me to get through this before everyone in the house decides to have me committed.
oh, and their cooperation on something other than the potential commitment would be nice.