Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Turn and Face the Strange Ch ch changes...

It amazes me how much has changed in the last 8 years. It's hard to comprehend sometimes just how many of the people who are a part of our family's lives and have been a part of watching us all grow, are people we've never met face to face.

When this blogging adventure began my biggest concern was how to both parent my real life kids and parent the ones inside as well... or worrying about one of the kids inadvertently sharing a story about Mom's others with their friends or teachers. One Mother's day, the card Daniel made for me was a precious, heartfelt letter about what he loved in me... and included the statement, "and especially your littles who are fun and cool."

I'll never forget the moment I realized that 5 year old John had figured out to ask for Amelia when he didn't hear what he wanted from Mom... and now he and his girlfriend are, for all intents and purposes, sneaking behind her dad's back. That is a whole other entry for another day... (it's been mentioned before but I'm reminded again how deep in the crap we are with our kids.)

Krys was just getting really interested in boys and burning up the phone so much we got a second line just for the kids. Now she's married and planning for her first child.

It was the same year we began blogging that Amelia (5 year old alter at the time. She aged to 8 before integration) reached a point of seeing my physical body as that of an adult and not a child. Becka and Rachel were playing barbies with her one morning when she made the glorious discovery that not only did she have boobs, but they felt like Koosh balls! It would be a few years before I worked up the courage to publicly share that particular story.

Becka and Rachel are long past barbie dolls. (Both Krys and Becka have made it abundantly clear that even if they have girls, pink is OUTLAWED as a color for their kids.)

Becka is 5 months along now and only just beginning to show. I had the joy of feeling my granddaughter kick for the first time last night. She and Noeli have asked me to spend his day off tomorrow shopping for the baby. He's been dying to go since he found out she was pregnant. It's been a chore to get him to be a bit patient about that. Though his patience with Becka has finally yielded his reward. Once he finally stopped pushing, Becka told him that not only does she want to be his girlfriend, she hopes their relationship will grow beyond that of a couple of teens who happened to make a baby together. Of course, if she agreed, he'd run her to the justice of the peace tomorrow. I'm glad she's insisted on not following one impulsive act with another.

I feel a senseless and nostalgic ramble coming on but am too tired to do much more tonight.

As much of my time writing was about recovery, it was also about family. I've looked to my personal past aplenty over the years. I'd like to spend some time reminiscing about they journey my kids have taken with me all these years. They've shaped the people they have (and will continue to) become. There's finally a sense of peace that in all the years of rampant insanity ("which one of you is you today?") we've somehow managed to raise some awesome people, growing to strong, healthy adults.

In an effort to focus my writing and, i hope, make it easier to sort through the jumble of things in my brain, I'd like to make that a goal for the next week or so... just writing about the kids.

God knows there's a wealth of material to work with.